The History of Maryport

on the North-West coast of England

Jose and Mildred.

Jose and Mildred became celebrities, virtually overnight in 1999 when they inherited several million pounds from the will of a multi-millionaire fridge magnate, a Mr Ivor Coldun.

They may have had plenty of money in the bank, but it wasnt going to change their lives, they would still drink in the same pub and mix with the locals, especially on Monday and Friday nights when Darts and Pool was played. They never took part in the activities, but always showed their support and cheered loudly as the sandwiches and chicken wings were served.

Rumour had it that Jose once bought a round of drinks in The Bounty Inn, but this was quickly denied by his lawyer, from Lye, Grabbitt and Runne, who said "I dont know where this rumour came from, but there is certainly no truth in it, I've represented Jose since he was taken to court for breaking into a fiver, when the judge let him off as it was a first offence"

The first thing they did having gained a few quid, was to build their "dream house" which would have had a wonderous view of the Solway Firth, had it not been for the derelict remains of a building that Hitler bombed on his way home. This is the view from their scullery :